where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
