I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
