Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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