i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
