When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
