I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
