he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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