Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
