I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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