Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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