He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
wow bdsm is so cute
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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