I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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