remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
