I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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