so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
