is wine microwaveable?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
