Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
