The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
