Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
