don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
