and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Less talking, more tequila
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize