Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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