So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
