So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
