I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
