YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
