so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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