just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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