Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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