New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
