He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
