God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize