Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
