I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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