just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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