While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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