This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
