Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
