You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
