Christians are straight up FREAKS
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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