i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
