Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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