Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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