I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize