you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
