i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
