hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
