Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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