when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
