im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
