On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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