I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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