Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize