Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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