It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize