i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
