So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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