I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
