i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
