Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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