It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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